Category Archives: vomit

Tis the season.

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My children are sick. Various bodily fluids are leaking from various places. Whines are bellowed from room to room.  Thrashing aching bodies distract people who are driving by my house. Throats are red. Fevers are high. (Yes! It’s that bad.)

My usually merciful heart is raging battle with the irritated woman in me who just wishes to be alone for ONE GOSH DARN SECOND! IF YOU DON’T MIND?

I am torn betwixt two very different me’s:

1. The “take care of me Mommy.” mommy.

2. The feared, “Get the frick out of my face!” mommy.

I hate to see my kids be sick. I do.  You can’t help them. You just watch them suffer. It’s awful. Really. Really. Awful.

But after 2 weeks of running noses and coughing. A couple days of what my kids like to call the “fast poop”. 3 cases of strep throat. One night of a kid yakking up her antibiotics. And all along the way the snot continues to flow like milk and honey.

Needless to say the feared Mom has come.

The merciful Mom has found a place in the darkest corner of my heart where it cowers in fear from the me who rules my personality right at this very moment. (Just ask my husband… or as I like to call him, “Would it KILL you to change a friggin diaper?”)

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Public Service Announcement

Based upon what I am finding on my blog stats page:

Search Terms for 7 days ending 2007-08-22
Today
hamster
i’m building a cathedral
Yesterday
a chubby hamster
chubby hamsters
Nice Hamsters
a hamster
hamster
2007-08-20
my dog vomits, poops every day
winter white hamster
vomiting in children
headless rabbit
2007-08-19
dopies
“something in the sky” “8 10 07”
big hamster cages
eggs taste bad
2007-08-18
hamster
why do i feel like vomiting all the time
vomiting while poop
cloud vomiting a rainbow
vomit stories for kids
2007-08-17
average person vomit
football vomit
2007-08-16
green hamster poop
hamster

1. Too many people are considering purchasing or have purchased hamsters. They should reconsider. Return. Whatever. Hamsters are small, smelly, sneaky creatures, capable of creeping out a 33 year old tom boy. (And by that, I mean, me.)

2. People have many concerns about vomiting. Their dog vomiting. Them vomiting. Occasionally it’s their hamsters vomiting. (I told you not to buy one.) And usually what concerns them most, is the color of the projected food. Odds are it’s green or frothy orange. (That shows up on my stats page more than what you’d think.)

3. Even more than vomiting (but not lately), people want to know about their poop. Again, their poop. Their dog’s. Those stupid hamsters again. But still, our poop, it beckons them. It tells a story. A story they gotta know. Why’s it green? Why’s it runny? What makes it smell? Although I appreciate as much conversation about bowel movements as the next gal, alas, I haven’t the answers for your questions.

4. Sometimes people scare me, like the ones looking for info on, say, “clouds vomiting rainbows”. (What a lovely thought.) Or, um… I don’t know… “vomit stories for kids” (Maybe they should tell them about the magical cloud that vomits rainbows… sure to be a bedtime classic to be told for generations to come.)

The best part about this, is, I didn’t have to make one of these up.

Hatched from the brain of our average person comes the queries that fill our minds, then inevitably our google search.