Category Archives: Poop

Tis the season.

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My children are sick. Various bodily fluids are leaking from various places. Whines are bellowed from room to room.  Thrashing aching bodies distract people who are driving by my house. Throats are red. Fevers are high. (Yes! It’s that bad.)

My usually merciful heart is raging battle with the irritated woman in me who just wishes to be alone for ONE GOSH DARN SECOND! IF YOU DON’T MIND?

I am torn betwixt two very different me’s:

1. The “take care of me Mommy.” mommy.

2. The feared, “Get the frick out of my face!” mommy.

I hate to see my kids be sick. I do.  You can’t help them. You just watch them suffer. It’s awful. Really. Really. Awful.

But after 2 weeks of running noses and coughing. A couple days of what my kids like to call the “fast poop”. 3 cases of strep throat. One night of a kid yakking up her antibiotics. And all along the way the snot continues to flow like milk and honey.

Needless to say the feared Mom has come.

The merciful Mom has found a place in the darkest corner of my heart where it cowers in fear from the me who rules my personality right at this very moment. (Just ask my husband… or as I like to call him, “Would it KILL you to change a friggin diaper?”)

Bric a brac.

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I’ve been putting of posting cuz, well, I feel there ain’t much to discuss, but for the tens of you who listen…

Summer is almost over and quite frankly, I am happy to see it go. I love fall. It’s my favie! Cool air. The trees in color. Taking walks in the woods behind our house. Hayrides. Bonfires. Pumpkins. And the welcome return of hearty soups. I am such a cheesball!

On a similar note… School has started. All hail the public educational system! I gaze in happy wonder as all but one of my offspring are carted away on a yellow bus of glory! I am now the proud owner of 2 hours of personal time. Which is  no easy task.

6:00 Wake up (truthfully, it’s more like 6:30)

7:00 Alina on the bus

8:00 Mackenzie on the bus (Alina goes to middle school now so they start at different times and ride different buses,)

8:30 – 11:30 Chasing Reggie and Reese, cleaning and whatnot.

12:00 Reggie on the bus. (She’s in half day kindergarten.)

12:30  Reese in bed.

12:30 – 2:30 Here’s my personal time. (Rejoice with me, won’tchanow?)

2:30 Alina gets out of school.

3:45 Keni and Reggie get home.

3:46 Chaos ensues.

In other news… Charlie is having a birthday tomorrow. Turning 33. Yep. 33. I asked him if he feels old, to which he replied, “I feel as cool now as I did when I was 23.”

Ah, the wealth of ego that lies in that man’s brain. I could read an endless pile of self help books and NEVER feel as good about myself as he does on a perpetual basis.

My good friend Lauren had her baby, Emma Rose. I have yet to see her and her little one, but have seen the video and hope to get to the hospital today for a sneaky peek.

Also, let’s take a moment and pray a new lawnmower (with one of those baggers on the back?) into my life. The one I have is over 10 years old and only works in one gear and only starts when Chuck opens the metal thingie and sticks two screwdrivers inside its belly until sparks fly then the engine starts. It’s like he’s magic or something.

So let’s pray…  so I can mow on a regular basis… so I won’t have to rake piles of clippings… and Chuck will be able to stop his use of black magic as I am sure our good Lord doesn’t approve.

The apple trees are pregnant with apples a plenty. I think I might make a pie.

All in all, not much is ahappening.

My life is certainly something to be envied forsure.

Public Service Announcement

Based upon what I am finding on my blog stats page:

Search Terms for 7 days ending 2007-08-22
Today
hamster
i’m building a cathedral
Yesterday
a chubby hamster
chubby hamsters
Nice Hamsters
a hamster
hamster
2007-08-20
my dog vomits, poops every day
winter white hamster
vomiting in children
headless rabbit
2007-08-19
dopies
“something in the sky” “8 10 07”
big hamster cages
eggs taste bad
2007-08-18
hamster
why do i feel like vomiting all the time
vomiting while poop
cloud vomiting a rainbow
vomit stories for kids
2007-08-17
average person vomit
football vomit
2007-08-16
green hamster poop
hamster

1. Too many people are considering purchasing or have purchased hamsters. They should reconsider. Return. Whatever. Hamsters are small, smelly, sneaky creatures, capable of creeping out a 33 year old tom boy. (And by that, I mean, me.)

2. People have many concerns about vomiting. Their dog vomiting. Them vomiting. Occasionally it’s their hamsters vomiting. (I told you not to buy one.) And usually what concerns them most, is the color of the projected food. Odds are it’s green or frothy orange. (That shows up on my stats page more than what you’d think.)

3. Even more than vomiting (but not lately), people want to know about their poop. Again, their poop. Their dog’s. Those stupid hamsters again. But still, our poop, it beckons them. It tells a story. A story they gotta know. Why’s it green? Why’s it runny? What makes it smell? Although I appreciate as much conversation about bowel movements as the next gal, alas, I haven’t the answers for your questions.

4. Sometimes people scare me, like the ones looking for info on, say, “clouds vomiting rainbows”. (What a lovely thought.) Or, um… I don’t know… “vomit stories for kids” (Maybe they should tell them about the magical cloud that vomits rainbows… sure to be a bedtime classic to be told for generations to come.)

The best part about this, is, I didn’t have to make one of these up.

Hatched from the brain of our average person comes the queries that fill our minds, then inevitably our google search.

End result.

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People used to joke with me that I should get an indoor dog to eat up all the crumbs that fall to the floor in my house. (I have 4 kids.) They were wrong, we just needed a baby.

My 1 year old Reese loves to eat. She eats everything imaginable.

If it looks like it’s food… she eats it, if it isn’t… she moves on to the next morsel. (There’s plenty to keep her busy.) I have even seen her on her belly reaching under the couch to get to a fruit loop. (or something.)

Now that they days are warmer, she frequents the smorgasbord that our yard lays out before her. Items on the menu: sand, rocks, grass, flowers and more often than not, dog food.

Today as I did the dirty work of all Moms, (diaper change) I encountered the last item. Amazing that she must not have even chewed it. All soft and mushy, but yet still retaining its morsel shape. It had though, lost it’s gravy aroma and had turned from a dog food brown to a Reese poop green.

Poop.

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Todays Search Engine Terms:

Quacamole Stool

Strawberries + Watermelon In Babies Poop

I am sensing a trend. And I like it. I like it so much I am starting a category called Poop.