Category Archives: hamsters

Public Service Announcement

Based upon what I am finding on my blog stats page:

Search Terms for 7 days ending 2007-08-22
Today
hamster
i’m building a cathedral
Yesterday
a chubby hamster
chubby hamsters
Nice Hamsters
a hamster
hamster
2007-08-20
my dog vomits, poops every day
winter white hamster
vomiting in children
headless rabbit
2007-08-19
dopies
“something in the sky” “8 10 07”
big hamster cages
eggs taste bad
2007-08-18
hamster
why do i feel like vomiting all the time
vomiting while poop
cloud vomiting a rainbow
vomit stories for kids
2007-08-17
average person vomit
football vomit
2007-08-16
green hamster poop
hamster

1. Too many people are considering purchasing or have purchased hamsters. They should reconsider. Return. Whatever. Hamsters are small, smelly, sneaky creatures, capable of creeping out a 33 year old tom boy. (And by that, I mean, me.)

2. People have many concerns about vomiting. Their dog vomiting. Them vomiting. Occasionally it’s their hamsters vomiting. (I told you not to buy one.) And usually what concerns them most, is the color of the projected food. Odds are it’s green or frothy orange. (That shows up on my stats page more than what you’d think.)

3. Even more than vomiting (but not lately), people want to know about their poop. Again, their poop. Their dog’s. Those stupid hamsters again. But still, our poop, it beckons them. It tells a story. A story they gotta know. Why’s it green? Why’s it runny? What makes it smell? Although I appreciate as much conversation about bowel movements as the next gal, alas, I haven’t the answers for your questions.

4. Sometimes people scare me, like the ones looking for info on, say, “clouds vomiting rainbows”. (What a lovely thought.) Or, um… I don’t know… “vomit stories for kids” (Maybe they should tell them about the magical cloud that vomits rainbows… sure to be a bedtime classic to be told for generations to come.)

The best part about this, is, I didn’t have to make one of these up.

Hatched from the brain of our average person comes the queries that fill our minds, then inevitably our google search.

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Wanted: dead or alive.

360695_hamster.jpg

My three older girls each have a hamster.  Lightie, Mystery, and Cinnamon. They have a nice big cage, but rarely stay in it. They  are master escape artists. We have tried wiring the cage shut. Taping it shut. Drugging the beasts. To no avail. Every other day or so, I find myself on a hamster hunt.The favorite place for them to hide is in our surround sound speaker by the tv. I am now a master disassembler and reassembler of such a piece of equipment.

On their last forbidden spree through my house I found them the next day sleeping inside the housing of the speaker. In order to prevent further infestation I sealed off the opening. I placed all three little critter back in the cage and last night, fell asleep proud that I’d finally outsmarted them.

At 1:11 am I was awaken by the little breaths of a chubby hamster sitting on my head.

My first thought was that this must be a rat or mouse in my hair because I’d locked up the whole herd myself that night.  That is not a thought anyone should have upon awakening after midnight from a sound sleep.

So with cat-like instincts I grabbed it and threw it into the wall.

Um, yeah.

With any luck, it is still alive somewhere. Hiding under my bed, no doubt. I looked and couldn’t find it this morning, so there’s a good chance it’s okay.

Not that that will help me sleep any better knowing it’s still out there.