Search terms.
May 24th:
What does green poop mean on kids?
Where to buy dopies
Do you eat a kumkwat like a grape?
May 25th:
Neil Greathouse
Child Vomit
May 27th:
Dopies
Dog vomit at night
May 28th:
vomiting and dry heaving stories
kids website on vomiting and poop
banzai fall sidewinder falls
May 29th:
Sidewinder Falls
Vomiting Technique
May 30th:
Banzai Falls
The Sidewinder.
It’s been a Memorial Day tradition here at the Neff house, to go buy a water slide for the kids.
We’ve had to purchase a new one every year as, apparently, the life span of these things are very short. I am sure it doesn’t help things that it gets left out in the rain, sweltering sun and even the sub zero winter. And in the summer, it gets beaten to death by our kids. (and sometimes by me and my beauti-ous friend Joy)
This year we’ve upgraded.
The Banzai Sidewinder Falls.
You can find them in Target and Toys R Us in the “We try to buy our children’s love” department.
It looks like a fun time… the kids on the box seems to be having a great time.
But I wonder….
And don’t get me wrong… I WILL be giving it a test drive…
…but do kids really need this kind of excess at their disposal?
All I had when I was a kid was a blue tarp that we stole off of a lawn mover, our lawn hose and bottle of Dawn dish soap… and you couldn’t find a happier (or cleaner) kid on the block.
End result.
People used to joke with me that I should get an indoor dog to eat up all the crumbs that fall to the floor in my house. (I have 4 kids.) They were wrong, we just needed a baby.
My 1 year old Reese loves to eat. She eats everything imaginable.
If it looks like it’s food… she eats it, if it isn’t… she moves on to the next morsel. (There’s plenty to keep her busy.) I have even seen her on her belly reaching under the couch to get to a fruit loop. (or something.)
Now that they days are warmer, she frequents the smorgasbord that our yard lays out before her. Items on the menu: sand, rocks, grass, flowers and more often than not, dog food.
Today as I did the dirty work of all Moms, (diaper change) I encountered the last item. Amazing that she must not have even chewed it. All soft and mushy, but yet still retaining its morsel shape. It had though, lost it’s gravy aroma and had turned from a dog food brown to a Reese poop green.
Poop.
Todays Search Engine Terms:
Quacamole Stool
Strawberries + Watermelon In Babies Poop
I am sensing a trend. And I like it. I like it so much I am starting a category called Poop.
Must… buy… Dopies.
Unlike most women I know. I do not get weak in the knees by designer shoes.
But, these… these shoes have stolen my attention. dopiewear.com
Every shoe, and I mean that in the literalest sense, every shoe I own was purchased on clearance, usually from Payless, occasionally from Target.
So what I have posted surprises even me. $3.42 foam Target flip flop wearing me.
What can I say? I am evolving.
Missing piece.
There is probably only one person (you know who you are) what will appreciate what I am about to say:
My office is clean. That includes paperwork filed. Books sorted. Photos put away.
And if that don’t beat all:
I swept my kitchen, dining room and living room. Put all toys away. Shook out the rugs. Wiped down the walls. AND did all but one load of laundry. I may even do that later. Who knows?
I am now ready for drop ins. Feel free to stop by today. Today, I am ready.
The only piece missing is me. I am dirty. I need a shower.
Mrs. Clean
I am, how do they say? Domestically challenged.
On my office floor right now:
a dumped can of change (Reese)
all the pens from my desk drawer (Reese)
a Fiddle Faddle bag (me)
my jar of binder clips (Reese)
one pink sock
alphabet magnents
bills
one of Mackenzie’s t shirts
a water globe from Alina’s collection
the top half of my largest nesting doll
all my Nintendo DS games
doll baby pjs
Reggie’s bunny slippers
an oven mitt
a pile of crushed salt and vinegar potato chips
This by no means is an all inclusive list. But it covers most.
And my desk is no better. I currently have my keyboard on top of my laptop, half off my desk cuz it’s so full of papers. The good news is today is the day I will clean this room and return it to the glorious splendor of tidiness. Who knows what treasures lie beneath the depths.
Take me out.
Last night Chuck and I were offered tickets to go see the Cleveland Indians play the Minnesota Twins. It was a perfect night for a game. It was 85 and the breeze was warm. Not to mention it was dollar dog nite.
I waited in line with Joy for 40 minutes and we got:
6 hot dogs, with ketchup, stadium mustard and onions (although Chuckie didn’t get onions on his… baby.)
2 orders of nachos with salsa, cheese and jalapenos
2 super sodas
And later:
3 Dippin Dots (I got the banana split)
It was a great nite for a game.
The guys in the white uniforms won. I think.
Number two.
Remember when I posted about my Search Engine Terms?
Kids. Pee. Pants. Emotional.
Well, since that post I now regularly check them.
Search Engine Terms for today:
vomit tired children
emotional vomiting
and my favorite:
where does the poop come out?
Apparently, by evidence of my search engine terms… it comes out of my blog.
Wanted: dead or alive.
My three older girls each have a hamster. Lightie, Mystery, and Cinnamon. They have a nice big cage, but rarely stay in it. They are master escape artists. We have tried wiring the cage shut. Taping it shut. Drugging the beasts. To no avail. Every other day or so, I find myself on a hamster hunt.The favorite place for them to hide is in our surround sound speaker by the tv. I am now a master disassembler and reassembler of such a piece of equipment.
On their last forbidden spree through my house I found them the next day sleeping inside the housing of the speaker. In order to prevent further infestation I sealed off the opening. I placed all three little critter back in the cage and last night, fell asleep proud that I’d finally outsmarted them.
At 1:11 am I was awaken by the little breaths of a chubby hamster sitting on my head.
My first thought was that this must be a rat or mouse in my hair because I’d locked up the whole herd myself that night. That is not a thought anyone should have upon awakening after midnight from a sound sleep.
So with cat-like instincts I grabbed it and threw it into the wall.
Um, yeah.
With any luck, it is still alive somewhere. Hiding under my bed, no doubt. I looked and couldn’t find it this morning, so there’s a good chance it’s okay.
Not that that will help me sleep any better knowing it’s still out there.
